


Special Delivery

by Jane_Oddbody



Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 19:24:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15153956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jane_Oddbody/pseuds/Jane_Oddbody
Summary: The Spine meets an attractive delivery woman one day when Peter VI asks him to pick up a package from the front door for him.  high jinks ensue.





	Special Delivery

Peter Walter VI stuck his head in the doorway of the library where the Spine was sitting reading a book. “Hey Spine, I’m expecting a delivery today but I’m going to be busy in the lab, would you mind getting it for me when it arrives?”

The Spine looked up from his book, “sure Peter, not a problem.”

“Great, thanks Spine you’re a big help,” said Peter, “it should be here around noon, I appreciate this big guy.”

Several hours later there was the unmistakable chime of the Walter Manor’s front doorbell. The Spine walked toward the front door and came upon Norman in the hallway, who was also on his way to answer the front door. “I got this one Norman; it’s a package for Peter,” The Spine said, “he asked me to get it for him.” Norman smiled and nodded and then turned and headed back out towards the gardens.

When The Spine reached the door-less front doorway he did a stumble step as he saw the delivery person standing just outside. She was an attractive girl who appeared to be in her late-twenties. She had her sandy-blonde hair tied up in a ponytail that curled over her shoulder. She was curvy and her plain brown uniform was lovingly hugging each and every one of her curves. She had a few freckles across her nose that might seem childish on some women but on her it just made her all the more alluring. Fortunately she had been looking down at her clipboard as he approached and hadn’t seen The Spine nearly trip over himself.

The Spine cleared his throat to get her attention and also because his voice box had gone inexplicably dry. She looked up and said “Mr. Peter Walt….” Her eye level met The Spine’s upper chest so she looked farther up. When her eyes finally got to The Spine’s gleaming metal face they momentarily went wide. “…Wow you’re tall….umm……Mr. Peter Walter VI?”

The Spine did his best grin and tipped his fedora at her, “The name’s The Spine Ma’am; Mr. Walter is busy and asked me to get his package for him.”

The girl blinked again…”oh right…..I’ll need you to sign for it.” She offered the clipboard and pen to him. The Spine took the clipboard from her and signed his name. He handed the clipboard and pen back as she handed over a small box. The Spine took the box but then just continued to stand there smiling at her. She also continued to stand there smiling at him as if she were mesmerized. The Spine was pretty sure it wasn’t for the same reasons he was. He knew human girls didn’t typically find robots attractive and he knew the Walter Automatons usually had this effect on people when they saw them for the first time. For all he knew he could be the first automaton she had ever met. He did an internal shrug. It didn’t mean he couldn’t still flirt.

The Spine decided to break up the awkward smiling standoff. “Pardon me Ma’am but I’ve given you my name, I’d appreciate the honor of knowing yours.”

She seemed to snap out of it, “Oh right, my name’s Rita.”

“Nice to make your acquaintance Miss Rita,” said The Spine offering his hand. Rita reached her hand to the Spine expecting to shake hands. Instead, The Spine grasped her hand gently and bowed his head down and kissed it. The Spine looked up from her hand into her eyes and said “It was very nice meeting you Miss Rita”.

Rita’s face pinked a little, “oh my, are all robot’s this friendly?”

“Just this one,” he grinned a little mischievously at her. Rita’s face went a shade pinker.

After a moment she said “it was very nice meeting you The Spine, but I better get back to my rounds now.” Rita turned and headed back to her delivery truck. The Spine sighed as she drove off down the driveway.

The Spine had a little spring to his step as he carried the small package towards Peter’s lab. He kept thinking about the lovely delivery woman he had just met. He wondered if he’d ever get to see her again. Maybe he should offer to sign for more of Peter’s packages. He started whistling a happy tune as he neared the lab’s open door.

Peter looked up from a piece of machinery he was currently tinkering with, “well someone’s in a good mood.”

The Spine just smiled and said “well it’s a lovely day, what is there to not be in a good mood about?”

“Riiight,” said Peter, “is that my package?”

The Spine had nearly forgotten about the package he was holding as he had drifted into more pleasant thoughts in the shape of a curvy delivery woman named Rita with the cutest freckles.

“….Spine?” Peter cocked his head and looked at him.

“Oh yeah…yeah it is,” said The Spine. “You know Peter, I know you’re really busy down here and I wouldn’t mind signing for your packages more often.”

Peter thought something about this was a little off, but then again all the automatons were a little off. The Spine might be the most “normal” of the group but even he had his moments. Anyway, how much trouble could he get into picking up packages from the front door? “Sure Spine, that would be great,” said Peter, “I don’t have anything coming anytime soon though.” Peter caught the slightest frown from The Spine before he quickly pasted back on his black lipped smile. Hmm.

“That’s ok Peter” said The Spine, “just letting you know I’m willing to help you out.”

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” said Peter.

Two weeks had passed since the lovely delivery Goddess had graced the front step of Walter Manor. The Spine couldn’t stop thinking about her. He really wanted to see her again. Sadly, there had been no deliveries in the past two weeks. He was certain there were things people needed, things that needed to be shipped to the manor. The Spine thought for a moment then smiled. He had a plan.

The Spine walked out to the back garden of Walter Manor where Norman was busy weeding one of the flower beds. The Spine walked over and observed for a little while. “That’s a fine job you’re doing there Norman.”

Norman looked up and smiled at The Spine, “Thanks, I really enjoy it.” 

“Do you mind if I make a recommendation,” asked The Spine

“Sure,” said Norman

“I recall that Wanda is particularly fond of Himalayan blue poppies and they’d look great in that shady area by the fountain,” said The Spine.

Norman looked over at the fountain. “They would look nice there, but I don’t think I can get those at the local garden center.”

“Oh you can’t?” “That’s a shame,” said The Spine, “Wanda really does LOVE those flowers and I know if you planted those it would definitely give you extra brownie points with her.”

Norman frowned a little, “yeah they would look nice…and I do like making Wanda happy.” “I just don’t know where I could get those type of flowers around here.” “I really don’t think there’s any nursery nearby that has them.”

The Spine put on a thoughtful face. “Hmm that is a pickle….” “…OH! I just remembered there is a nursery in San Jose that has them.” “I saw an advertisement for them in a gardening magazine in one of the sitting rooms.” 

Norman raised an eyebrow at The Spine, “…why were you reading a gardening magazine?”

Oops. “Oh, well I like flowers too and it was just sitting there on the table so I flipped through it,” The Spine said quickly. “The advertisement said they will ship mail orders of flowers too.” “You could have them by tomorrow!” “Won’t that be a great surprise for Wanda; she’ll be so happy!”

Norman smiled big. Bingo. The Spine knew Wanda was Norman’s weak spot. He could almost hear the pitter patter skip of Norman’s heart when he mentioned how happy the flowers would make her. “Well, ok…I would love giving Wanda a surprise,” he said. “So do I need to call them…?” asked Norman.

“I’ll take care of it,” said The Spine, “it would be my pleasure to help.”

“Thanks Spine, you’re so helpful.”

Spine nodded a goodbye to Norman and turned to head back into the house to place the order. Norman had no idea that the one who was REALLY being helpful was Norman himself. He was helping The Spine get to see the lovely Rita again. 

The flowers were ordered and they would be arriving at 2pm the next day. The following day The Spine fussed over himself in the mirror. He had put on his best suit, which was pretty much exactly like the others but just a little nicer. He combed his wig so his hair was just right and had straightened and re-straightened his red pocket kerchief at least a dozen times. 

When it was getting close to 2pm he nonchalantly hung near the front hall, waiting for the doorbell to chime. As he was milling about, waiting, he heard clockwork ticking and the sound of footsteps approaching. Oh no; Rabbit! He didn’t want Rabbit to be there when Rita arrived with the shipment of flowers. He better head her off at the pass. The Spine turned and headed toward his approaching sister and put on a stern look, “THERE you are!”

Rabbit stopped in her tracks and looked at her brother. “Yeah here I am…. ya lllook’n for me?”

“I have been looking ALL OVER for you as a matter of fact,” said The Spine. “Peter asked me to find you, he…..uh…..found that MESS you made and wants to have a word with you…right now.” The Spine didn’t know of a specific mess but he knew Rabbit well enough to know that there was more than likely one somewhere with her name on it and chances were pretty good that Peter had already stumbled upon it or was as they spoke.

Rabbit stood there and seemed to look him over for a second. “Oh, yeah...rrright,” she said “honest, I didn’t know moon pies would have that kind of reaction to blue matter!” “Pete’s gggonna kill me!”

The Spine nodded sternly at her, “that’s right bucko, when are you going to learn Rabbit?” “Well you better get going now; he’s only going to be madder if you delay.”

Rabbit looked nervously back at The Spine. “I’ve been a bbbbad robut.” “Well, I better gggo take my medicine like a big girl!” Rabbit dramatically threw one arm over her photoreceptors, “tell Zero that I’m leaving him mmmy chewed gum collection, and tell little Steve that I’ll miss him the least!” “Whelp,… I’ve had a good life.” Rabbit turned on her heel and hung her head. “Dead robut wwwalking!” she called out as she headed off down the hallway.

As Rabbit rounded the corner out of sight the doorbell chimed. Not a moment too soon! The Spine could barely contain his smile as he headed toward the door. And there she was standing just outside. The afternoon sun made her glow like a vision. The Spine did an internal sigh. “Good afternoon Miss Rita, it’s very nice to see you again,” said The Spine.

Rita looked up from her struggling to hold the heavy pallet of flowers in her arms. The clipboard was awkwardly tucked under her arm. “Nice to see you too Mr. Spine, could you uh…give me a hand?”

Oh right! The Spine took the heavy flower pallet from her. The clipboard slipped out from under her arm once the weight was removed and fell to the ground. Rita bent over to pick up the clipboard causing The Spine to accidently get more than a good view down the front of her uniform blouse. A huge cloud of steam burst from his cheek and neck vents as he quickly looked away. 

Rita stood up with the clipboard and saw the huge steam cloud drifting up from the Spine and noticed the strange pained look on his face. “Oh dear…are you ok,” she asked. “That’s not too heavy is it…do you need me to get one of your…uh…mechanics?”

The Spine replied “No” in a high octave he usually reserved for singing parts of Diamonds. He cleared his throat and spoke in his normal low bass voice, “I mean No Miss Rita, I’m fine.” “I was just releasing a little steam from my boiler.”

“That’s an awful LOT of steam,” said Rita, “are you SURE you’re ok?”

“Yes, yes I’m just fine” said The Spine. (Great way to make yourself look like a mook, as Steve would say), The Spine thought to himself. The Spine switched to holding the pallet in one arm. “See, not too heavy; I’m fine” he grinned. He had considered telling her that he could pick up a car but decided that might come off as bragging.

“Oh good, I was worried that the pallet was too heavy and I accidently broke you or something,” said Rita. “Duh though, you’re a robot, you’re probably really strong” she said “I bet you can lift cars or something.”

The Spine smiled, “only if I need to like in situations where I need to save a life.” Ok, that was a brag but she DID leave the door open. Was she impressed? PLEASE BE IMPRESSED.

Rita nodded her head “wow, that’s really impressive.”

SCORE!

Rita held out the clipboard and pen to The Spine, “could you please sign.”

“It would be my pleasure, Miss Rita,” said The Spine as smiled at her with what he hoped was his most charming smile.

Rita saw his smile and couldn’t help but smile back as she took the clipboard and pen back from him. “You really might be one of my most polite customers I’ve ever had,” she said.

“Well it’s very easy to be polite to a lady as lovely as you Miss Rita,” said The Spine.

Rita’s face turned a very dark shade of pink. “oh…well…I umm…uhh...”

Oops maybe that was a little too much, he didn’t mean to make her feel awkward. He had better change the subject so she wouldn’t be left with that as her last impression of him. “Miss Rita, you have a very lovely name,” The Spine said, “are you named after someone?”

“Oh yeah, I am named after someone,” said Rita. “My Grandmother was a HUGE Rita Hayworth fan, so my Mom named me after the movie star.” “I’m not sure if you know of Rita Hayworth, she was an old-time movie star.”

The Spine smiled, he had actually met Rita Hayworth when The Steam Man Band had done a few USO shows with her. She had been a very lovely lady in both personality and looks. “I am familiar with Rita Hayworth,” said The Spine, “I’m a big fan of hers.” “I think your mother chose a very fitting name for you.” 

Rita smiled. “Thanks,” she said, “not too many people remember her these days; it’s all Beyonce and the Kardashians.” “Personally I’d rather watch any old silver screen movie than anything with the famous people we have now-a-days.” “None of them can hold a candle to Rita Hayworth, Buster Keaton, The Marx Brothers, James Cagney, Jimmy Stewart….oh I could go on and on,” she said. Rita looked at her watch “oh dear I better go, I have a lot more deliveries I have to make today.”

“It was a pleasure seeing you again Miss Rita,” said The Spine, “I hope I get to see you again sometime soon hopefully.” 

Rita smiled, “well if I have a delivery here, you will definitely see me.” “It was really nice seeing you again too, Mr. Spine.” Rita turned and headed back to delivery truck.

The Spine stood in the doorway holding the pallet of flowers watching her drive off until her delivery truck was far in the distance. *sigh*…she was incredible.

*Ahem*

The Spine spun around to see Rabbit standing in the front hall behind him. “So, are wwwe now a flower pot instead of a robut,” she asked.

The Spine scowled. “No Rabbit, I was just picking up a delivery of flowers for Norman.”

“Is that so,” said Rabbit, “is he gggonna come get them from you here or aaare you going to take them to him?”

The Spine scowled. Trust Rabbit to ruin his good mood. “Never you-mind Rabbit,” The Spine said, “I’m taking them to him now.” The Spine started to trudge past Rabbit toward the gardens. “Don’t you have a mess to clean up?”

Rabbit grinned at him. “Oh, iiit’s all taken care of bucko,” she said, “don’t you worry.” As The Spine disappeared down the hallway Rabbit said in a lower tone, “almost like it never happened.”

After dropping off the flowers with Norman, The Spine went off to make a new plan on how to get a delivery so he could see Rita again. Who could he convince that they needed to mail order something? Hmm… After a while, a new plan formed in The Spine’s processor.

The Spine walked to the music rehearsal room where most of their equipment was set up. Good, no one was using it at the moment. The Spine looked up and down the outside hallway and listened to make sure no one was nearby or coming that way. He went in and scanned the room to make sure Little Steve wasn’t lurking anywhere within. Good, all clear. The Spine walked over to Steve’s soundboard and looked it over. Aha, that’s what he needed. The Spine reached down and with his robotic strength he snapped off one of the toggle switches. He then pulled a small tube of glue from his pocket and spread a thin line across the broken edge and very carefully replaced it. It looked as good as new but The Spine knew that the weak glue would give way as soon as Steve went to flip the switch. 

Sure enough, the next morning when they were having rehearsals The Spine heard the telltale sign that his plan had worked. 

“AWW DANGIT!” cried Steve. 

The Spine and the other robots stopped playing. “What’s a matter Steve,” The Spine asked.

“It’s this dang switch” cried Steve, “it just broke off in my hand!” 

The Spine frowned, “well that can’t be good Steve, is it important?”

“Yeah you can say it’s important,” said Steve, “I need it for some of the stuff I’m doing for the show next week.”

“Oh, well if you need it for the show next week,” said The Spine, “then maybe we should order a new switch as soon as possible.”

Rabbit gave The Spine a quick side eye look.

“I don’t get it, I barely touched it and it snapped clean off,” said Steve.

“Dddon’t you worry Steve,” said Rabbit, “you can pick up one at Bill’s Music Tech Depo in tttown.”

Oh s**t….”Oh no Rabbit,” said the Spine putting on a serious face, “Bills closed down a few months ago.”

“Oookay, what about Music and Parts LLLimited?” asked Rabbit.

“They burned down,” said The Spine.

“Mmmarks Parts and Instruments Galore?” asked Rabbit.

The Spine shook his head, “they only sell instruments now.”

As Rabbit was trying to think of another local store that might sell a replacement switch, The Spine quickly spoke up before she could come up with another one. “You know Steve, I saw a company that sells toggle switches for soundboards in a magazine I was reading the other day…” said The Spine.

“What were you doing reading a music tech magazine,” asked Steve.

The Spine blinked at Steve for a minute, “um I AM a robot AND a musician, Steve.”

“Oh right,” said Steve, “so can they send us a new switch before the show next week?

“Sure Steve, they can send it overnight,” said The Spine.

“WOW, talk about convenience,” said Rabbit. “It’s a good thing yyyou just so happened to see that ad, THE SPINE.”

Was Rabbit onto him? Eh, he didn’t have time to worry about that right now. He had a toggle switch to order and lovely Rita would be on his doorstep once more. 

The Spine placed the order and sure enough, the front door chimed the afternoon of the following day. Rita stood outside with her ever present clipboard and a small box.

The Spine walked to the front doorway, “Why hello Miss Rita, it’s so nice to see you again.” 

“Hello Mr. Spine, it’s really nice to see you again too,” said Rita. 

The Spine smiled at her and leaned on the doorway trying to look cool.

“Although I have to confess,” said Rita, “I wasn’t expecting to have another delivery here so soon.”

The Spine frowned slightly, “oh?”

“Most of my regular customers only get deliveries maybe once a month or so,” said Rita. 

The Spine frowned a little more, “oh…is it unusual that we have more frequent deliveries than your other customers?” …Oh no, had he screwed up?!

“Oh no, not really,” Rita laughed, “besides what IS normal anyway?” “I don’t mind coming here often,” she said, “you’re so nice and it always brightens my work day.”

Phew, and also Rita had said he brightened her day! The Spine could feel his boiler skip a beat. “I’m glad I brighten your day Miss Rita, you brighten my day as well,” he said.

Rita looked down and blushed.

The Spine was about to say to Rita “I wouldn’t mind seeing you more often,” but movement behind Rita had caught his eye. It was Rabbit and she was walking across the front yard near the delivery truck. His grip on the door frame slipped and he righted himself. No, no no no nooo…not now!

Rita looked back up and saw The Spine staring at something over her shoulder with widened eyes. “Is something wrong, is something back there,” Rita said starting to turn her head.

The Spine snapped his attention back to her and he placed a hand on her shoulder stopping her from turning around to look. “NO, I uhh…just thought I saw uhh…a skunk,” he said. 

Behind Rita, Rabbit had stopped walking and was currently standing next to the delivery truck making kissy faces.

“Yeah…,” said The Spine frowning, “a BIG old skunk that likes to get into everything and won’t MIND ITS OWN BUSINESS.”

Rabbit moved onto pantomiming making out with an invisible partner.

The Spine sent over the wifi to Rabbit, “Damnit Rabbit, knock it off and GET OUT OF HERE.”

Rabbit sent back “Whatcha doin there, cowboy?”

“Nothing, Rabbit.”

“Don’t LOOK like Nothing…”

“I’m just picking up a package for Steve.”

“Well it sure does looks like you’re try’n to pick up SOMETHING there, Spine.”

“Go AWAY Rabbit”

“I mean…if you were just pick’n up a package…why ya all leaning on the doorway try’n to be cool?”

“Rabbit!...so help me!...!”

“…and is that yer best suit ya wear’n??!”

“Rabbit!..”

“Cool yer jets Spine, I’m going. I was just walk’n by and couldn’t resist mess’n with you.”

“It’s fine, just go Rabbit…please.”

“…Although you SURE seem eager to get rid of me….”

“RABBIT!!!!”

“I’m goin, I’m goin….”

To The Spine’s relief Rabbit smirked at him and did walk away and disappear around the side of the manor.

“My Uncle used to have problems with skunks,” said Rita, “he used to sit on his porch and throw rocks at them.”

“I may try that,” said The Spine. 

“Oh no you don’t” said Rita, “it didn’t end well for him and I’d hate to see that happen to you.”

The Spine’s boiler bubbled again. “I appreciate you caring about my well-being Miss Rita,” said The Spine.

Rita blushed again and quickly said, “oh well, no one deserves a face full of skunk funk.” Rita laughed and so did The Spine. “Well, I better have you sign for your package and get back to my rounds now,” she said.  
The Spine took the clipboard and signed it and took the small package from her. “I’m sorry you have to go so soon, maybe you’ll be back again soon,” he said.

Rita smiled warmly at him. “Maybe,” she said, “hopefully someone here will order something that needs to be delivered soon.” “Have a great day Mr. Spine, see you next time.” 

As Rita drove away in the delivery van, The Spine said “I can guarantee someone will order something soon.” 

Over the next month and a half, The Spine had managed to get almost everyone in the manor to order something that required a delivery. He talked Michael Reed into ordering more purple shirts as one can never have too many. He managed to get several orders out of Hatchworth who was stocking up on fishing gear for his latest goldfishing expedition. The Jon had ordered boxes of gravy. He said there was a shortage in Biscuit town. The Spine wasn’t going to question The Jon so long as he ordered something that needed to be shipped to the manor. Wanda had ordered some hair nets and crinoline petticoats. Having the conversation with Wanda to convince her that she needed those items had been more than a little awkward for The Spine. The Walter workers had ordered sunscreen, LOTS of sunscreen. Zero ordered CDs of all his favorite Motown albums after The Spine convinced him that CDs would last longer than his vinyl records. Granted, he probably should have told him about digital formats for music that could be downloaded easily these days, but those couldn’t be delivered to the front door by the lovely Rita. The Spine had even resorted to ordering some metal polish himself out of desperation as he had virtually run out of people to place orders for delivery. He thought about just sucking it up and placing a bunch of orders himself but he didn’t want Rita to think he was desperate. It just looked better if the boxes had OTHER people’s names on it. 

The only two people in the manor who he hadn’t managed to get to order something for a delivery was Peter Walter VI and Rabbit. The Spine was NOT going to ask Rabbit. He knew she was onto him and he preferred to keep her as far away from his plans to flirt with Rita as possible. He had tried several times with Peter over the last month and a half but hadn’t been successful. Peter was either stubborn or oblivious and he wasn’t sure which or if it was both. The Spine was getting actually desperate now. It had been three weeks since the last delivery and since he last saw his beloved Rita. The Spine sighed, he had no choice but to go try again with Peter.

“Hey ttthere Spine, where ya going,” asked Rabbit as he passed by one of the TV rooms on his way to Peter’s lab. 

“Oh, I just thought I’d go down and offer Peter some help in the lab,” said Spine. Hopefully Rabbit would drop it and just go back to watching her movie.

“Ok cccowboy, see ya later,” said Rabbit.

Good, he really didn’t want Rabbit to see him begging Peter to mail order something. Rabbit did not need to know how desperate he’d gotten to see Rita again. The Spine reached Peter’s lab and entered. Peter was in the midst of studying blue matter vapor moving from one rounded glass container along a glass pipet to another rounded glass container and back again. Peter was jotting down notes. “Hey Peter,” said The Spine, “that’s an interesting experiment you got going on there.” Peter continued to scribble notes. “Those are some interesting containers, I haven’t seen many of those around the lab…,” The Spine said.

“No,” said Peter without looking up.

“No?” asked The Spine, “No, what?”

“No, I’m not ordering more containers,” said Peter.

“But Peter, you can never have too many,” said The Spine.

“No, Spine, I am not ordering more of these glass containers because I don’t need any more than the ones I already have,” said Peter. Turning to face The Spine he added, “and besides, I think you’re up to something.”

“Whaaaat,” said The Spine. “What would make you think that?!”

“Maybe that you’ve been hitting up everyone in the manor to mail order something,” said Peter, “maybe that you’ve been acting strange ever since that day I asked you to pick up that package for me.”

Well damn. Maybe Peter wasn’t oblivious. Still, stubborn was a possibility. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Peter,” said The Spine. “Sure, I’ve been recommending stuff for people to order but I’m just trying to help them out.”

“By making them order stuff they really don’t need,” asked Peter.

“Need is subjective Peter,” said The Spine, “I think they had a need or they wouldn’t have ordered any of it.”

“Well I don’t have a need for anything at the moment so don’t bother trying to talk me into mail ordering something,” said Peter.

“Peter, you got me all wrong,” said The Spine, “surely one of your labs needs something.” “Like test tubes, aprons, a Bunsen burner…something.”

“No, no, no and no,” said Peter.

The Spine frowned, “surely there has to be something that needs to be restocked.”

“Sorry, Spine,” said Peter, “but I just don’t NEED anything right now.” “I restocked all the labs at the beginning of the year and we have only gone through a tiny fraction of our supplies.” “The only way I could see us needing to order anything is if some catastrophe happened,” said Peter, “and no, that wasn’t a suggestion.”

The Spine frowned and turned to go but at that moment a loud crash sounded from one of the labs down the hallway. The Spine and Peter both looked at each other and ran down the hall to the other lab. When they got there the floor was covered in glass. 

“My beakers,” shouted Peter looking around, “what happened to them?!” “I was storing them in this lab since we hardly use it….I don’t understand how they could have all ended up busted in the floor like this!!”

The Spine looked around at the glass carnage in shock. He had a sneaky suspicion what may have happened here but he was not going to try to investigate. He was going to just take this as the unfortunate blessing that it was.

“Well, you got your wish Spine,” said Peter, “this is a catastrophe and I’m going to need to order replacements for all these beakers now.”

The Spine quickly hid his smile. “I’m sorry, Peter,” said The Spine.

“Yeah, yeah,” said Peter, “just help me out and get a broom, big guy.”

Three days later the beakers were scheduled to arrive. The Spine was so excited he was nearly levitating. He’d put on his best suit again and inside his breast pocket he’d tucked a red rose, which he intended to give to Rita. He was milling about the front hall again waiting for the front door chime. At a few minutes after noon he heard them sound and went to greet Rita at the front door.

The Spine was grinning ear to ear as he reached the front door, “Rita, I’m so glad to see you….again?”

Rita was not standing outside the front doorway. Instead there was a short balding guy with hairy arms staring back at him. “Well my names not Rita, son, “he said, “but I’m glad to see you too.”

The Spine’s smiled dropped. “Where’s Rita,” he said meekly.

The man squinted at him. “Oh you mean the gal that had this route,” he said, “she left…got some cushy office job in town.” The man looked The Spine up and down. “I drew the short straw and got her old route,” he said, “so you one of them robots?”

The Spine could barely utter an answer in his grief. Rita wasn’t going to be coming anymore. “Yeah…I’m one of them robots, “said the Spine in a small voice.

“Cool, I ain’t ever seen a robot before,” said the man, “well anyways here’s your package if you’d just sign here on the clipboard, I’ll be on my way.”

The Spine halfheartedly scrawled his name on the clipboard and took the large box the man had sat on the porch. As the man drove away in the delivery van the Spine walked slowly into the front hallway holding the box. Rita, his Rita; he was never going to see her again! The Spine sucked back an oil tear that had formed in his eye. He was suddenly startled out of his despair by a hand gently landing on his shoulder.

“Yyyou ok, Spine,” asked Rabbit. 

The Spine quickly but on a brave face and said “oh yeah, I’m just fine…got a new delivery person now.”

Rabbit continued to just look at him. He could swear he saw something like concern in her eyes.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go take these beakers to Peter now, “said The Spine.

“Wait, Spine,” said Rabbit, “bbbefore you go, I think you should have this.” Rabbit reached into her skirt pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to The Spine.

The Spine took it and opened it. On the paper was a phone number next to the name Rita. He looked sharply up at Rabbit in surprise.

“Yeah, I could see yyyou liked her,” said Rabbit, “and I could see she liked you too.” “I tttook the liberty of calling the delivery company and talking to her,” she said, “real nice girl.” “I knew you were enough of a dummins that yyyou probably never thought to ask for her phone number, so I got it for you after she told me she was going to be leaving for a new job.” Rabbit smiled at The Spine, “she’s lllooking forward to your call.”

The Spine dropped the box and turned and hugged his sister. There was an audible crunch when the box hit the floor. They both turned at looked down and the box.

“Darn delivery mmman,” said Rabbit, “look what he did to Peter’s package!” “I tell ya, it’s hard to get good service ttthese days!” They both laughed.

The Spine looked at Rabbit, "you were the one who broke that lab full of beakers, weren't you?" 

Rabbit grinned at her brother, "wwwell, you sounded like you needed help convincing Peter to mail order something aaand I like break'n stuff....so it was a win-win." 

Later that night The Spine called Rita and had a very long and lovely conversation with her. They agreed to meet up at a classic film festival that weekend. After he hung up from talking to her, he went back online and ordered more beakers for Peter. Peter had not been too happy when he opened up the original box. The Spine accepted the punishment that he was from now on banned from accepting packages from delivery people. He was ok with that. He already had the only delivery person he wanted.


End file.
